Words unsaid

"One eye open. One still in a dream."

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You

There are these dreams in my head,
of you,
of us,
that is so perfect,
that waking up
is the hardest to do.

Who am I?

I am nothing to him,
Easily forgotten
with two missed calls.

I am ‘hurt’ to you,
Piercing your heart
with my broken lies.

Who am I, I wonder.
Someone to be loved
or forgotten?
Someone to be held
or discarded?
Someone worth your time
or dust in your eye?

Unfinished

I was writing this for you when you accused me for lying, again. Only this time I wasn’t.

Dearest,
I hate what has become of us. Constantly doubting,  constantly fighting to be heard. We have built a wall around us and we are constantly trying to look over the walls, rattling the chains on the gates and screaming to be heard.
But we weren’t always like this.
You and I, we had a world of our own – a cocoon where our walls were down,  gates open, blinds of our windows spread wide open for the light to shine through.
But somewhere down the line, we got so busy we forgot to open up, and let down our walls. Instead of that blinding light, we started getting just a friction of it. And we got used to it. Got comfortable in the darkness. And now we are both fighting for the last few rays of light.
I wish everything could just go back to what it was December before last.
I can honestly say, I’ve never been more content before. I couldn’t keep my fingers from reaching out for yours. We had such little of what we have now, but we were happy. Happy with the little moments we had, the long calls in the night,  the giggles and the snuggles. Remember that time we danced across that stinky hall, just because?
I don’t know what to say.
We have changed. We have grown. But perhaps not together.
I am sorry for all the times I’ve caused you pain. For all the times I wipes off your smile and replaced it with a frown. For all the times I’ve made you loose your patience……

Free

You,
are free to go.
Your shackles are broken,
ropes untied.

Take care of those bruises,
they will heal,
you’ll find a better prison
than me,
someday.

Hard

Hard to love,
hard to please,
hard to hold,
my heart in place.

It’s all right,
I understand.
How do you love me,
when I don’t love myself?

The little white boat

Times are troubled
the current too strong,
winds too powerful,
waves too rough.

The little white boat
will crash and turn,
but never topple,
with you here.

Hold my hand, Jesus.
Don’t let go.
Stay with me, Jesus.
I don’t want to go.

The waves crashed,
the wind howled,
the current ran,
with all its might.

But still it stood,
the little white boat,
with Jesus holding,
its sails afloat.

Minus

Past –
Best friend. Boy friend. Future.
Present –
No boy, no best, no friend.

Gone

Gone too soon,

is not just for tombstones.

It’s for you and me,

and everything we never had.

Every day blessing

When the sky lights up with colour
I always think of you.

You

You are the dawn of the day
The light seeping in.

You are the clouds that run
And the rain that splatter;

You are the breeze on my hair
The chill on my skin.

You are the tinkling waves
The salt that digs in.

You are the thunder in my heart
The lightning of my soul.

You are God’s best creation,
My every day blessing.

I love you.

Heavy heart

Muse I must,
with no slate
to write
my hearts content.

It’s simple really.

In your arms,
I have found my home.

Where were you all along?

Two people, fumbling for words

“For once in my life I’ve got someone who needs me,
someone I’ve needed so long.
For once unafraid I can go where life leads me,
and somehow I know I’ll be strong.
For once I can touch,
what my heart used to dream of;
Long before I knew someone warm like you –
could make my dreams come true.
For once in my life I won’t let sorrow hurt me,
not like it’s hurt me before.”

– Sinatra

For once in your life you can rest your heart,
and be assured its taken care of.
For once in your life
you can build a home out of a person,
and know it’s permanent shelter.

For once in your life
know that you are home.

His no more

When my walls tumbled,
his footsteps grew faint
in the distance.

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